Love, love, loooove.

What a perfect week to fall in love all over again. With the scent of Russel Stover's heart-shaped boxes in the air, I'm reminded of my ability to love. One should be lucky to have such a quality, to love unconditionally. My boyfriend, Chris, and I have been together almost two and a half years. We've had many ups, and unfortunately like any couple, our fair share of downs. However, no matter how hard I pushed him away, he never backed down. I've always been a bit insecure, after a heartbreak, and family issues, but he's stuck by my side. He's come from a cool, collected family; Parents have been together over 30 years, they have a house, sister is an amazing, healthy individual. Why would he want to try so hard with me?? I've always wondered. He just does. It happens, there is that someone out there for you who's perfect. I never believed until Chris. He's been amazing through this whole weight loss experienced over the past week...Which I've also had ups and downs with.

These past couple days have been the hardest. Last night, it was going out with friends to a bar. I thought I was ready. I got there right after work, still in my David's Bridal "business" attire. I already felt "stiff" and uneasy. Then i watched my friends sip their adult beverages, and eat their bar food, all the while I sipped on my one and only diet coke. I knew after being there 5 minutes I wasn't ready to go out yet. I just needed to be a little stronger. Chris and I went home after he finished playing darts, and I was supposed to eat my final meal of the day. I stared at my food and sank into a depression. I was so sick of eating the same thing day after day! I need a plan. Chris pulled me up from the floor where I sank into "baby zone," as I call it. Feeling worthless and like I'm going to fail and need to give up. He pulled me into his arms, and held me tight, and told me I couldn't give up. This all seems so dramatic for being real life, but it's true!! He's my knight in shining armour.

He told me that I was always the one who motivated him, and always had a plan. And just now he was finally seeing how some sort of structure was good. I've always told him we needed to do more hobbies, and now he's making it a point to finally do them. I tell him I feel like the only thing we do together is eat and drink and stay at home. He knows....and understands, and sees what we've needed for a long, long time. "We are smart people, and can make excuses easily," he says. It's time for a change, and the change is to make our lives better in the long run. Since this has all started, I've been think long term. Marriage, traveling, careers. It's all going to work out, and now's the time to stop making excuses. I'm going to get my butt up from the couch and go to the gym today, with Chris. His idea. Love, love, love. How did I ever get so lucky???

Eggs and coffee again for breakfast.....Maybe I'll try to make something for both of us for my lean n green. Any lean n green ideas for Valentines Day??